The premier of the final season of Game of Thrones is less than a week away, and we are already on the edge of our seats to see the final fate of Jon Snow, Daenerys Targaryen, and all of Westeros. We’ve invested countless hours these past seven seasons, and have spent just as many hours obsessively poring over details, trying to figure out how it’ll all end. If only we could step inside the mind of George R. R. Martin.
Season 8 is imminent, and with only six (really, six?!) episodes left, each will be a major television event. Rather than simply sipping on wine (although you should emulate the characters on the show and drink to your heart’s desire), we’re going to need serious snacks to help us with the stress. Forthwith, our edible Game of Thrones gifts based on its characters, a veritable feast of Fire & Ice. And not to worry—Arya’s not in the kitchen. There’s no Frey Pie.
For the Jon Snow
Our rugged heartthrob, daring illegitimate son of Stark, born of the fortress of Winterfell, we’ve followed him (stalking, even), and we were only sidetracked a little by Kahl Drogo. (Jason Momoa, why did your character have to die??) We saw him as a “Night Watcher” on the outskirts of Westeros, defending the land from the wildlings, and now as he follows the Stark duty of being the hand to the throne, we await his conquests. A Jon Snow is noble, just, loyal, and above all, stays true to his calling. And in keeping with his brooding disposition, he always wears black. A Snow deserves the king of boxes: The Black Label Box. Black truffle cheese, rich fig & elderberry drizzle, a slate cheese board, all dressed up in black.
For the Daenarys
Dragon Queen? More like queen of our hearts. Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow have a long way to go to reclaim her family’s throne. But we are here for it, no matter who gets in their way. In spite of the obstacles along her quest, Dani has always shown herself to be exceedingly benevolent... pretty much every land she passes through suddenly abolishes slavery. She’s that good. She’s also bad ass. How many queens do you know with three (well, two now) dragons? We can bet there’s only one: the literal dragon queen. For this reason, Daenarys and all the queens in your life are flaming hot, just like our Hot Hot Hot Sauce Gift Box, a spicy Game of Thrones gift.
For the Cersei Lannister
Slay, Queen. But like, actually… Slay. Throne’s Cersei proved to us that evil queens can be much scarier than our Disney memories. And evil really is the best word for her, besides power-hungry, ruthless, murderous, and all around the WORST. It feels like she’s killed just about everyone. Plus, she’s a terrible wife (cheating on her husband with her brother… her brother) and an even worse mother (all of her children die horribly gruesome deaths). If a friend of yours identifies with this savage queen, all we can say is SHAME. Appease their thirst for blood with our Bloody Mary Cocktail Kit Gift Box.
For the Tyrion Lannister
The black sheep of the Lannister line, Tyrion is our favorite debauched character. A drunkard who somehow always has his wits about him, he has elevated wine past libation and into the realm of a full on character trait. He always seems to have a glass in hand, which is honestly #goals. He also gifted us the line “I drink and I know things.” For that friend who like Tyrion enjoys a drink, a Game of Thrones gift box like Just Add Whiskey Gift Box is waiting.
For the Samwell Tarly
Dear old Sam. Not unlike Samwise Gamgee from The Lord of the Rings, Samwell is a loyal friend. What is it about Sams? We’ve watched Samwell stick by the side of Jon Snow since he was a steward in the Night’s Watch. Through his healing, we saw him save Ser Jorah Mormont from incurable greyscale. The Samwell in your life is the type who is more likely to give you a gift— and never expect anything in return. They deserve it though, and a Game of Thrones gift like Wellness in a Box Gift is just the thank you for their friendship.
For the Brienne of Tarth
Brienne is extremely loyal and a lifelong defender, first of the Baratheons then of the Starks. We have a feeling it won’t be long until she pledges her loyalty to our girl, the flamin’ Dragon Queen Daenerys. We know she’s firmly on the good guys’ side. And she’s never unprepared or empty-handed. Whoever of your friends is a Brienne, send them our Great Guest Gift Box. They might just gift it back to you.
For the Varys
Master of Whisperers, what a title! In modern day, our favorite bald eunuch (or the only bald eunuch) Varys would be that friend who knows all the gossip... or to put it nicely, is always in the know. Varys literally has a network of undercover spies, so he is aware of everyone’s secrets and it can only be assumed that Varys would be an amazing curator. For the Varys in your life, gift them the Best of Mouth Subscription for a nod of approval. Or send the Chocolate-Covered Deliciousness Box. Treats are under-the-cover of chocolate, kinda like his spies.
For the Night King
Poor Night King, we didn't forget you. Can’t help but feel a little bad for him. He's been leading an army of the dead, and they move very, very, very slowly. They’ve been marching south from Hardhome for who knows how long, and all he has for company is a bunch of mute ice monsters, the White Walkers. The undead, what with their undying hunger, need a lot of food, so give the Night King in your life All the Snacks. Beneath that icy exterior, they’re probably just a little hangry, that’s all.
You may not sit on the Iron Throne, but you can at least eat like a king with all of these snacks from our Game of Thrones gift ideas guide. So stock up, hunker down, and turn on HBO. Winter is coming, and you’ll be ready to hibernate.
Images courtesy of HBO/Everett Collection